APQC recently spoke with Mary Jo Asmus, owner and operator of Aspire Collaborative Services LLC, about how leaders can promote civility in the work place. Aspire Collaborative Services LLC is an executive coaching firm established to work with leaders and teams who are smart and want increased focus on the things that will make them extraordinary. Read Mary Jo Asmus’ Blog or follow her on Twitter at @mjasmus.
Learn more about leadership development from APQC’s Leadership Deficit Research Report.
Mary, you have talked about the need for leaders to become aware about incivility in the work place. In our survey, respondents said leaders show plenty of focus on cost and the bottom line. You talked a little bit about how Cisco estimated incivility costs them $12 million a year. Cisco saw the problem and dealt with it head-on. Why don’t more companies connect incivility to the bottom-line and become aggressive in improving it?
Incivility may not be addressed for the very reasons you’ve mentioned, plenty of attention to the bottom-line without recognition that the soft skills impact it to a significant degree. There are plenty of studies out there that show this.
Even if companies aren’t placing direct emphasis on unacceptable behavior, it is often being addressed by individual leaders through the feedback they provide and the way they model respect and civility themselves. I have great hope that the next generation of C-suite executives will recognize that the bottom line isn’t just about “doing” and making the numbers but it’s also about the behavior of the employees who are working in the organization.
Even when a company is making its numbers, I think about the wasted potential of the organizations who could go above and beyond their targets if only the individuals populating those organizations were more focused on treating each other as if they matter. As globalization marches on, employees will find that their options to work in more humane workplaces are exponentially increased and the cost of turnover alone could put civility front and center in companies.
In our survey, one of the top leadership deficiencies was self-awareness. One of your key points on improving civility is for leaders to be self-aware. In your experience, what makes people desire self-awareness in their leaders so much?
Self-awareness is the foundation for the age-old journey of our species to better themselves as individuals. When we become more self-aware, we can become more focused on our strengths and gaps. Leaders who do so know where to place their attention then to improve themselves and to use their strengths. Not only is self-awareness good for the self, but it becomes foundational to understanding others.
How does a leader who isn’t self-aware develop the skills to become more so?
There are lots of things a leader can do to become more self-aware. They can ask for feedback, participate in 360 instruments and self-assessments like Myers-Briggs Type Indicator and self-observe their own behavior in real time as they go about their day (in other words, they can be more mindful and reflective).
Of course, I’m a big fan of leaders having an executive coach when they want to become more self-aware and “up their game.” A good executive coach can be a guide through the maze of what might be holding them back and how to move forward to become the best they can be. Most coaches will begin the process with some kind of self-awareness tools and then assist the leader to develop a plan to use their strengths and close their gaps.
In our recent leadership survey, we discovered that workers may desire a different style of leadership. Where is the point at which tough, firm, aggressive leadership goes too far and becomes incivility?
This is a great question, and one that I will answer with a bit of hesitancy since I don’t believe there is correct response to it because it depends. It depends on the culture of the organization and the greater society it is in, and what is considered acceptable. In some organizations for instance, raucous meetings with interruptions and people vying for attention is the norm and is considered acceptable. In others this kind of behavior would be considered unacceptable.
In your experience is it common for one generation to think, “That’s an ok way to interact at the workplace,” while another generation of worker might find the same actions unacceptable?
Yes, I have seen this difference in generations. However, I go back to “what is acceptable in our culture?” as the foundation for acceptable norms.
You also have spoken about ‘starting a dialogue’ about the civility you want to occur but to avoid teaching and lecturing. What are some ways to start the conversation but not have it feel like another directive from HR that people just ignore or worse communicate less out of fear of being accused of incivility?
I think leaders can create dialog more than they are right now. So many are so busy getting things done that they forget to talk to others. One of my favorite ways to start a dialog is to invite a discussion about a topic (civility might be one) with a question. Leaders need to use open-ended questions more. In this case, the question might be “What are the behaviors that we want to exhibit in our organization to drive respect for each other?” (notice that the question has a positive, future-oriented intent rather than a negative, backward looking focus).
And then the leader just needs to listen and guide the discussion if it gets off topic. It’s a simple thing really, but something many are uncomfortable with in our businesses. Somewhere someone started the idea that leaders have to have all the answers, and that they always have to be right. This is not serving organizations who want to spur growth and development in their employees well. Leaders need to understand that they can learn from others!
Finally can you give an example of leader you have known or worked with who changed the culture from incivility to thoughtfulness and what was the key to accomplishing it?
Yes I can. The leader that I am thinking of came into an organization that was a mess. People were disrespectful and downright mean to each other. The leader called them on the way they treated each other, held them accountable for improving relationships with each other through more civil behavior, and modelled it himself.
That organization is a beautiful example of the impact that civil behavior can have. It is growing and has won awards for its work.